TwentiethSunday in Ordinary Time
Confidence comes from faith
Surely, I wait for the Lord; who bends down to me and hears my cry, Draws me up from the pit of destruction, out of the muddy clay, Sets my feet upon rock, steadies my steps, And puts a new song in my mouth, a hymn to our God. …. Blessed the man who sets his security in the Lord, who turns not to the arrogant or to those who stray after falsehood. You, yes you, O Lord, my God, have done many wondrous deeds! …. there is none to equal you …. so I said, “See; I come with an inscribed scroll written upon me. I delight to do your will, my God; your law is in my inner being!” When I sing of your righteousness in a great assembly, See, I do not restrain my lips; as you, Lord, know. Psa 39
In early 1972, when my first two sons, Gianmario and Gianandrea, had already been born, I was unemployed. It was my fault: the previous year I had resigned from Franco Tosi, a huge engineering company which was as sure as a steady liner, in order to go and manage a small sole proprietor’s enterprise. I wanted to taste the risk as in an open sea, but I was still too young and inexperienced to lead that “little boat” among the raging sea of the social movement after 1968. I really did it wrong, and the Lord, after much praying, found a remedy to it when he let me meet Eugenio Capetti, a man who understood my tragedy and helped me to get a job with Ingeco, a design company. Again, I had a good job, but I still felt that annoying lack of confidence which is felt by everyone who has been twisted by the waves of a stronger sea than he. In that state of the spirit, I went to Calabria together with Anna Maria, in the eighth month of her pregnancy, in order to adopt Maria Carmela. Even if I was not prepared to face with that new adventure, when I stood in front of that child girl, in a little room in the orphanage in Locri, I said this prayer in my mind: “Lord, I accept Maria Carmela as a daughter, as if I accepted you!” I would never imagine that that event and that prayer could change my life radically. In a short time, my faith, up to then much of a habit, became alive and lively. And, together with faith, I regained the self confidence I had lost: “I wait for the Lord; who bends down to me and hears my cry, Draws me up from the pit of destruction, out of the muddy clay, Sets my feet upon rock, steadies my steps”. Since then, “He [has] put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God”, who has stood next to me all of my life. Before he bent down on me, however, he waited for me to bend down in order to welcome him, in the person of Maria Carmela. Still today, when I think about the self confidence the Lord has given me, I cannot help thinking where it comes from. It is a gift from him. Since then, oh Lord, “I proclaim your saving acts in the great assembly; I do not seal my lips, Lord, as you know”.